Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. Masturbating is commonly done by touching, stroking, or massaging the penis or clitoris until an orgasm is achieved. The stimulation may involve hands, fingers, everyday objects, sex toys such as vibrators, or combinations of these. Mutual masturbation is masturbation with a sexual partner, and may include manual stimulation of a partner’s genitals (fingering or a handjob), or be used as a form of non-penetrative sex.
Masturbation is frequent in both sexes and at any age. Various medical and psychological benefits have been attributed to a healthy attitude toward sexual activity in general and to masturbation in particular. No causal relationship is known between masturbation and any form of mental or physical disorder. It’s the safest way to have sexual pleasure there is – there’s no risk of pregnancy or STDs.
If masturbation becomes compulsive, however, it may become a mental health issue. Masturbation frequency varies greatly from person to person, and there is no “normal” frequency. However, if masturbation begins to interfere with other parts of a person’s life or starts to cause distress, it might be helpful to stop or reduce the frequency. Retraining yourself to not masturbate requires a series of strategies and techniques. These can include the following approaches.
- Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.
- Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in that good company.
- If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off the relationship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will.
- When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes – just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
- When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes.
- If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight.
- Never watch or read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember, “First a thought, then an act.” The thought pattern must be changed. you must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
- Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books or scriptures. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of scripture. Anything from the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
- Pray. But when you pray, don’t pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the scriptures, your friends, your families. But keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and not lout when the temptations are the strongest.
- When the temptation to masturbate is strong, find a distraction like reciting a scripture or singing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
- Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself ‘to never again’ you will always be open to temptation.
- Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.
- Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
