What would you prefer, diversity or no options? Any (or almost any) rational person would choose the first one. And even better when there is an opportunity not to refuse anything at all, to accept all at once and not to suffer the problem of choice. But it is not always possible. More often than not, we have to choose: an institute for admission, a company for work, a person for a relationship. We also make decisions in a more global sense: the sphere of hobbies, patterns of behavior, attitudes. These things don’t form in our minds by themselves. We choose them, as well.
1. Life vector or what I really want
If we have to decide on a domestic issue, like a new coat or groceries for dinner, there is no problem. In this case, with sufficient financial resources, we are free to afford everything at once, not being tormented about it at all. But if we are talking about mutually exclusive things, everything is much more complicated.
2. Good-Bad
Even as children, we have repeatedly faced the need to choose between friendship and personal gain, when we agreed or refused to share his candy with friends. The preponderance of one side or the other provided results that we liked or didn’t like. Based on these feelings, we subsequently concluded and settled on the most acceptable way of communication. Such global attitudes, of course, have an impact on specific, practical steps in life. This is the source of your further actions and deeds. Position, reference point, kilometer zero, the essence of personality. And we once defined it, and now we can reap the rewards.
3. I don’t know how to make a choice – how to be
Well, that’s not true. You do. Refusing to make a decision is also a choice. When people are asked to vote for or against at a meeting, they are offered a third option – neither this way nor that way. In other words, abstain. In fact, to withdraw from the game, leaving others to determine their own fate.
4. Choice
Good or bad? None of the above. It is simply the fact that one is afraid to take responsibility. It has its reasons, its base, built up over the years. It’s more comfortable this way. You have no influence on anything, which means you are not responsible for anything. Perhaps, in childhood everything was decided for the child by his parents, suggesting that his or her opinion cannot be correct.
So you cannot blame the man for this manner of behavior in any case. This is who he is and he has the right to remain that way. But what about those who recognize themselves in this portrait, but want to change? We have some complimentary advice on this subject. Read and think for yourself: to follow them or not.
5. How to learn to make independent decisions
Every person knows that learning is a long process. It requires patience, diligence, and many hours of practice. Just reading these tips will not be enough. It is important to start applying them in everyday life.
6. Accept yourself as a person
With all your peculiarities, your advantages, your disadvantages. Maybe you don’t think like most people, maybe your judgments are very strange, but they are yours and they matter. What does it mean to accept yourself? To stop endlessly reflecting and judging yourself for failures and missteps.
Everything is already accomplished. For some reason, self-mobilization is perceived positively in society, but, believe us, it does you personally absolutely nothing good. Unfortunately, it is difficult to carry out such work without outside help. It is better to seek help from a psychologist or at least read books on the subject.
7. Analyze your needs
It doesn’t matter what they say around you. You decide for yourself. Even if it turns out to be a failure, that’s okay. You’ll have an experience, which is good even if it’s negative. After all, one learns from mistakes, too. And by the way, only on your own. To decide whether you need something or not, you can make a mental picture of how events will unfold in the future.
This is not guesswork, but a sober calculation. If they advise you to go to IT, because there you can earn a lot of money, do not rush to agree with this opinion and make a shopping list. Before you think about the prospects of such a direction, think about the hard way of learning, because perhaps it will not be interesting.
8. To sort out your desires
Separate true from far-fetched ones. Figuring out what you really want is easy. Evaluate your pure emotions. What pleases you more than anything else, what would you do if you got full carte blanche?
9. Sleep
Imagine you don’t have to go anywhere, no one is pressuring you. But why imagine? Let’s try one interesting exercise. Determine one day in the week (just one) when you do only what you want to do. Literally. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed, don’t get up. If you have a desire to eat sweets – allow yourself as much as you can. The point is to observe yourself, to learn new things about yourself. Make a special diary and record everything that happened during the day. This is very important information, which is likely to surprise you. After all, what you’ve been doing all day is exactly what you want to do.
10. Shift your priorities toward your desires
To do this, you need to analyze the contents of the diary. For example, the day went as follows: you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, till 2 o’clock, then suddenly you were drawn to the street, where you were walking, stumbled upon an art gallery, where you went alone for reasons unknown and spent there 5 hours. This spontaneous route says a lot, doesn’t it? It turns out that you are attracted to the visual arts. Take the time to maintain this interest and see what happens next. It may fade soon. That’s okay – something else will come along.
11. Learn to hear yourself
The point of the exercise above is to have some emotional experience. When you’ve done what you wanted to do, you’ve probably experienced some kind of uplift. Joy, elation, excitement. This is very nourishing and motivating. Take that state as a reference. This is the feeling you need to live with.
12. As you make your determination, take into account the feelings in the previous point
Stop at what brings the feeling of happiness. You know for yourself what to be and what to do, the question is, are you making the right choices and decisions? No matter what the circumstances, we always can make decisions. Accept or refuse, suffer or fight, tolerate or actively oppose.
